Once I learned I would soon be jobless my professional confidence came down like a shooting star and I got into a vicious circle of never-ending series of questions:
- What did I do wrong?
- When did it happen?
- Did I mess up something I don’t know about?
- Should I have focused on ‘this’ rather than on ‘that’?
- If I did ‘this’ differently would it have changed the situation?
I was heading straight down the rabbit hole, beating myself up. This attitude wasn’t helpful for me, and even much less for those around me. But unlike them I didn’t see it – I was obsessed with finding the real reason, pinpointing that one defining moment when things have changed…
From friends around I heard all the classics:
You are going to find something much better.
It’s probably for the best – you will see.
There are so many opportunities on the job market… etc.
While I appreciate their support this wasn’t helpful for me at that time. I was feeling down, questioning my self-worth and couldn’t imagine starting a job hunt anytime soon. I didn’t see my own value – how could I persuade anyone to employ me?!
What really helped me was a pep talk from a colleague who’s been through a similar situation (thank you Nathalie ♥). She said:
Look at what you managed to do in just one year. You came to a new company, new area of expertise and you achieved so many great things. Don’t focus so much on the reason why it didn’t work out and remember all the good stuff you accomplished.
This was the perspective shift I needed. I followed her advice and made a list of my accomplishments. I wrote down all the projects I completed or contributed to and all the people I positively influenced through my work. Seeing that list enabled me to bounce back – get out of my negatively spiraling head and rediscover that cheerful, passionate, energetic side of me. With this mindset I was able to finalize my current duties and start looking for the next job opportunity.
I see it as a valuable lesson on the power of mental strength and a great TED talk on this topic helped me understand why hosting a pity party was not helpful at all. I strongly recommend you to watch the entire talk where Amy Morin explains what are the 3 things that make us less effective and rob us of our mental strength.
So… what bad mental habits are holding you back?
And what is that new perspective that you need to find?
BitterMe or BetterMe? 