Author: bittermeblog

Get Some Perspective

bittermeblog

Once I learned I would soon be jobless my professional confidence came down like a shooting star and I got into a vicious circle of never-ending series of questions:

  • What did I do wrong?
  • When did it happen?
  • Did I mess up something I don’t know about?
  • Should I have focused on ‘this’ rather than on ‘that’?
  • If I did ‘this’ differently would it have changed the situation?

I was heading straight down the rabbit hole, beating myself up. This attitude wasn’t helpful for me, and even much less for those around me. But unlike them I didn’t see it – I was obsessed with finding the real reason, pinpointing that one defining moment when things have changed… Continue reading “Get Some Perspective” →

When I Got Fired

bittermeblog

In some aspects I am a typical millennial: eager to make an impact and open to change. This entails a fair amount of job-hopping. There was always a reason to leave, a new challenge to pursue. But only once it wasn’t my decision to quit. I wasn’t literally fired but I was let go, replaced, and at that time it left me feeling devastated.

Your contract will not be renewed. We will be hiring someone else.

Continue reading “When I Got Fired” →

The Elephant in the Room

bittermeblog

Ever since I launched this blog my mailbox has been flooded with one particular question asked in various forms:

What happened to you?

I guess that a radical change in mindset doesn’t come without an impulse very often. You can call it epiphany, a-ha moment or a wake up call. In my case I felt like I literally woke up from a strange state of uncertainty and mental numbness. Awake, in this new reality I had to face the hard news:

I lost my job. Continue reading “The Elephant in the Room” →

21 days of happiness

bittermeblog

5 years ago, around this time, I was finishing my university studies. The goal was clear – finalize my Master’s diploma thesis and spend a month studying for my final exams. I was not satisfied with the progress, had low levels of energy and my default setting was grumpy and easily irritated. As I couldn’t focus at home I spent my days in a computer study room where you couldn’t tell if it’s day or night and I was surrounded by dozens of frowning “zombies”.

One day, as I snapped at a friend sitting next to me because he was laughing, he looked back at me and said “I don’t recognize you anymore, you have always been so much fun, but lately?! You keep on complaining how slowly you progress, you don’t even smile anymore and now you tell me to shut up because I laughed at a funny video? Give me a break!” I got offended, stood up and went to a different room thinking that he was a complete jerk as he was not getting how seriously I was taking my studies. Later that day he emailed me a video saying “I think you should watch this, it might help you”. Continue reading “21 days of happiness” →

Stuck in the negative

bittermeblog

Do you see the glass half full or half empty? Optimist or pessimist? “I’m a realist, I see things as they are!” I would always respond. But I was far away from the truth. And it took me a while to admit that I actually have a strong tendency to get stuck in the negative. I mean most of us do, don’t we? But why?

Why does our view of the world tends to tilt toward the negative?

Our brains are wired to keep us from danger, most scientists would agree. But why would we get stuck in these negative thoughts when danger is no longer immediate? In a brilliant TED talk social psychologist Alison Ledgerwood shows on a series of experiments how our minds struggle to switch from one way of thinking to another. Continue reading “Stuck in the negative” →

Let It Go

bittermeblog

How many times did I hear this sentence? Countlessly; in so many different contexts. But I never fully understood it until recently. I was facing a choice: telling the truth about something bad that someone did to me or NOT saying anything.

The recommendation I was getting was mostly ‘Just let it go!’ And I was sick and tired of hearing it because I felt like my revenge was absolutely necessary. The truth had to be told and I had the bullet – just needed to pull the trigger and shoot. Continue reading “Let It Go” →